I’ve always been a person who ‘gets things done’ and I just wanted to let you know that it can be equally as frustrating. The more I do the more things I feel need doing, does that make sense? I make a daily To-Do list and usually work my way through most of it, complete a Wordle, bake muffins, do some exercise etc etc, but never really feel any sense of achievement. I think the answer is probably to try and chill out a bit and relax, but that’s not really my thing. I love your idea of being more playful and need to prioritise some fun times!
This resonates a lot!!! But realistically that’s a crazy long list of wants, so long it’s not possible to do everything on that list and some of them just have to go….or at least be de-prioritised.
Overthinking about all the stuff you feel you should be doing just means you do nothing, it’s too much.
Not that I want to give you another book to read but Atomic Habits is good, I listen on Audible rather than read as it’s more achievable for me - listen in the shower, in the car, on a walk, while cleaning etc. I can listen and do other stuff so not as restrictive as actual reading.
Start small, be realistic and do what’s really important to you. One thing.
Also, ADHD? I was diagnosed in January (aged 43) and it’s explained a LOT
I’ve never nodded my head more. This has struck a cord with me, I say this as I feel ‘Atomic Habits’ burning its dusty eyes into the back of my head from the bookshelf.
I flit back and forth between beating myself up about it and ‘show yourself more kindness’.
Life is a lot.
Shoutout to all my untouched bullet journals, self help books, gratitude journals and planners.
So much to say! It sounds as if there is an inner narrative concluding you’re a failure. That is so, so, SO exhausting. Maybe you’re doing exactly the right amount of things, why are you sure you need to do more? Self-improvement is inherently about making yourself better, maybe you’re just a perfect amount of good already?It is hard to find energy for things when you already feel you’ve failed, “here I go pretending I’m going to start a podcast when I know I’m not going to...”. Therapy could help. Focusmate is a great free platform to book yourself a time to work on a project and be paired with someone else in the world who needs an accountability partner. Do you have attentional issues? That can make things extra hard.
Aaargh I could have written this! I wasn’t always like this but I am now and it’s so hard to get out of. I think some of it for me is being contrary, like we see so much self improvement bollocks on social media that I swing hard the other way. ALSO almost everything we feel we need to be more productive costs money…can’t start exercising without a smart watch to track it, can’t organise my kitchen without a million jars and labels, can’t go out and do something because petrol costs the Earth. All excuses of course but very readily available excuses!
This resonates with me so much! I have a lot of anxiety about specific tasks, I’m also on Sertraline, I struggle with task initiation. I’m also in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD, a lot of what you’re saying here sounds like possible ADHD too! Might be something worth looking into, I read a book called women with adhd which i found super helpful (didn’t finish it lol)
Yeah there are quite a few in there that are on my list but I just avoid. And I KNOW I have spare time in my life. Aka phonescrolling. My device would be pick a couple. Eg aiming for 7/8k steps per day. A walk will clear the head and organise thoughts. I recall you saying you really enjoyed those lockdown walks. Other advice is get the big calendar ans things will start wanting to be written down there. 3rd advice is research the brain training to hold off dementia and share the findings with your lazy followers (me) who also want to do this!
You’ve just described me 🤦🏼♀️ That’s scant consolation I know and doesn’t help either of us or, I suspect, the hundreds of others that may well read this that are in the same boat...Maybe the answer is not to have ALL of this wishes in our heads and to trick ourselves just for a month at a time. I started something yesterday that I will repeat today and again tomorrow...
I’ve always been a person who ‘gets things done’ and I just wanted to let you know that it can be equally as frustrating. The more I do the more things I feel need doing, does that make sense? I make a daily To-Do list and usually work my way through most of it, complete a Wordle, bake muffins, do some exercise etc etc, but never really feel any sense of achievement. I think the answer is probably to try and chill out a bit and relax, but that’s not really my thing. I love your idea of being more playful and need to prioritise some fun times!
This resonates a lot!!! But realistically that’s a crazy long list of wants, so long it’s not possible to do everything on that list and some of them just have to go….or at least be de-prioritised.
Overthinking about all the stuff you feel you should be doing just means you do nothing, it’s too much.
Not that I want to give you another book to read but Atomic Habits is good, I listen on Audible rather than read as it’s more achievable for me - listen in the shower, in the car, on a walk, while cleaning etc. I can listen and do other stuff so not as restrictive as actual reading.
Start small, be realistic and do what’s really important to you. One thing.
Also, ADHD? I was diagnosed in January (aged 43) and it’s explained a LOT
I’ve never nodded my head more. This has struck a cord with me, I say this as I feel ‘Atomic Habits’ burning its dusty eyes into the back of my head from the bookshelf.
I flit back and forth between beating myself up about it and ‘show yourself more kindness’.
Life is a lot.
Shoutout to all my untouched bullet journals, self help books, gratitude journals and planners.
You’ve all been....great ? 😂✌🏼.
So much to say! It sounds as if there is an inner narrative concluding you’re a failure. That is so, so, SO exhausting. Maybe you’re doing exactly the right amount of things, why are you sure you need to do more? Self-improvement is inherently about making yourself better, maybe you’re just a perfect amount of good already?It is hard to find energy for things when you already feel you’ve failed, “here I go pretending I’m going to start a podcast when I know I’m not going to...”. Therapy could help. Focusmate is a great free platform to book yourself a time to work on a project and be paired with someone else in the world who needs an accountability partner. Do you have attentional issues? That can make things extra hard.
Aaargh I could have written this! I wasn’t always like this but I am now and it’s so hard to get out of. I think some of it for me is being contrary, like we see so much self improvement bollocks on social media that I swing hard the other way. ALSO almost everything we feel we need to be more productive costs money…can’t start exercising without a smart watch to track it, can’t organise my kitchen without a million jars and labels, can’t go out and do something because petrol costs the Earth. All excuses of course but very readily available excuses!
This resonates with me so much! I have a lot of anxiety about specific tasks, I’m also on Sertraline, I struggle with task initiation. I’m also in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD, a lot of what you’re saying here sounds like possible ADHD too! Might be something worth looking into, I read a book called women with adhd which i found super helpful (didn’t finish it lol)
Yeah there are quite a few in there that are on my list but I just avoid. And I KNOW I have spare time in my life. Aka phonescrolling. My device would be pick a couple. Eg aiming for 7/8k steps per day. A walk will clear the head and organise thoughts. I recall you saying you really enjoyed those lockdown walks. Other advice is get the big calendar ans things will start wanting to be written down there. 3rd advice is research the brain training to hold off dementia and share the findings with your lazy followers (me) who also want to do this!
You’ve just described me 🤦🏼♀️ That’s scant consolation I know and doesn’t help either of us or, I suspect, the hundreds of others that may well read this that are in the same boat...Maybe the answer is not to have ALL of this wishes in our heads and to trick ourselves just for a month at a time. I started something yesterday that I will repeat today and again tomorrow...