Am I beyond help when it comes to self-improvement?

They say it takes 21 days to start a new habit, but what if you can’t get through 1 day?

I started reading a new book on Saturday night, it’s called The Power Hour and it’s about how the first sixty minutes of your morning are the most important.

I bought it in lockdown and only got round to reading it 3 years later because I wrote it down on my to-do list and wanted to cross it off. Thankfully, I didn’t specify I had to finish the book, I just said “start it”. So, I read the 17 page introduction and tricked myself into believing I would pick it up again on Sunday.

You see, the thing is, I really want to be better at my life, but I just don’t have the motivation to start.

I want to be the person that goes on daily walks to hit their 10k step count. I want to be posting more videos across all social platforms. I want to start my podcast with the camera I bought last year. I want to clear my inbox and pitch to brands I want to work with.

I want to never order a Deliveroo for the rest of the year. I want to start cooking again. I want to do daily exercise. I want to do more activities for my brain to help reduce my risk of dementia. I want to organise every single inch of my flat and have “systems” like all those people on TikTok do. I want to organise my fridge.

I want to be more present. I want to wake up at sunrise every morning and sit outside in nature. I want to do ice baths. I want to read the Wim Hoff method. I want to find some self-help podcasts that resonate. I want to find natural ways to improve my mental health. I want to come off Sertraline.

I want to be my most productive every single day. I want to manage my time better. I want to say yes less and no more. I want to print a giant calendar off and stick it to my wall. I want to be healthier. I want to expand our charity beauty sales. I want to grow my Substack and social followings. I want to be recognised for my work and be considered for more opportunities. I want to be respected.

I want to be more thoughtful. I want to send more cards. I want to reply to everyone I’ve ignored in WhatsApp. I want to have more arty hobbies. I want to listen to music again. I want to feel less guilty. I want to do a food shop without forcing myself.

The thing is, I don’t know where to start or rather, I know how to start, but I don’t know how to get the motivation to force myself and to keep it going.

They say it takes 21 days to start a new habit, but what if you can’t get through 1 day? I can buy all the books and planners, but I can’t buy the motivation.

I’ve always been like this, the classic person that leaves everything to the last minute. I don’t want to be like that anymore, but I don’t know how to be the person that has their life together and doesn’t read 17 pages of a self-help book before eye rolling to themselves.

There’s hundreds of reasons I could give you as to why I haven’t done any of the above things I so desperately want to do. Some are so minor like needing to charge my headphones, but if that’s a struggle, how do I tackle everything else?

I feel like every self-help guru talks about hitting rock bottom before they made their changes, but what if you’re not a drug addict who just became homeless? What if you’ve been scrabbling around in the pebbles for so long they’ve become smooth with your touch?

What then?