The coil

"By the time I was taking off my pants, and laying a paper towel over my FUPA, all cares had left my mind"

My name’s Laura and I have a long cervix, according to the lovely sexual health nurse who had her fingers inside me last Monday.

After a series of period tsunamis, I have finally gone and got the coil and judging by the reply to my Instagram story, a lot of you are keen to hear my experience.

First of all, it’s only been a week, so I can only talk about having it fitted, but, let’s be honest, that’s the thing most of us are worried about.

A quick back story for you, I have confirmed PCOS and have had irregular cycles my entire life. It’s funny because I used to avoid talking about periods, as I would sometimes go months at a time without one and it made me feel less of a woman.

I really thought getting my PCOS diagnosis would change my life, but a long-awaited hospital appointment just left me with tears and a one page print out on a low GI diet. In fact, I only learnt, through Reddit last year, that if your womb lining doesn’t shed each month, it can build up and become cancerous.

Then, last year, my periods came back. At first I was delighted, never happier to walk around with a rustling sound coming from my pants, but then, quite literally, the floodgates opened.

I’ve gone into it before on here, so I won’t again, but a scan confirmed that there were no fibroids or anything else other than PCOS, so my GP recommended the coil.

That was in January this year and it’s taken me six months to actually do it. Despite having two close friends who also recommended it.

After my nightmare in Mahon airport, I finally decided to get it done and on the advice of my friends, booked in at sexual health clinic, as that they fit them all the time.

Genuinely, the night before, I thought I wasn’t gonna turn up. It wasn’t the coil I was worried about, it was having my blood pressure taken, because another brilliant thing about me, is I struggle with health anxiety and blood pressure has become something that’s, for want of a better word, traumatising.

As I was already spiralling, I thought, why not put ‘The coil’ into TikTok and see what comes up.

Huge mistake.

Video after video of people urging me not to do it because it either ruined their life or it was more painful than child birth.

The only thing that got me to that appointment on Monday morning? My inner people pleaser and not wanting to disappoint someone with authority.

Needless to say, I couldn’t find the clinic as it was part of Croydon University Hospital and arrived late, sweaty and incredibly stressed.

I had to take my weight and blood pressure on a machine and as I was trying to explain my health anxiety to the nurse, she gave me a plastic cup to wee in.

Nothing like a surprise urine pop test.

Honestly, for all of you, this bit would be fine, but for me, the ‘prep’ was the worst. But, I am so grateful to the lovely nurse and ‘chaperone’, who were so, so kind and non-judgemental. Even rubbing my shoulder as I cried and waited for the panic to subside.

Side note - We will discuss health anxiety on here, as I’ve noticed it’s cropping up more and more since I first spoke about it online a few years ago. But, as I’m struggling with it at the moment (hence the lack of Substacks), I don’t really feel in a place to write about it right now.

Needless to say, by the time I was taking off my pants, and laying a paper towel over my FUPA, all fucks had left my body. I’d done the ‘hard’ part, this was easy. I put my heels on the pads and opened those legs wide.

The one thing I wasn’t prepared for? The reclining seat. It was almost like I was on a log flume, climbing that hill and waiting for the big drop. Except, rather than my hands in the air, it was my under carriage.

Fitting wise, I would say it felt much like a smear, speculum and all. The fingers part did slightly take me by surprise, but it wasn’t painful. There was only one part, I think with the speculum, that actually hurt. It was a few seconds and I did say ‘Ow’ and my lovely nurse apologised.

It took a bit longer, I’d say 5 minutes in all, because of my long cervix and at one point she was worried she wouldn’t be able to do it and I’d have to come back the next day and see the doctor to fit it.

Thankfully, we got it in (that’s what she said) and truly, from the bottom of my heart, apart from that one mis-attempt, it wasn’t painful. In fact, I was actually surprised when she said it was all done and she was going to cut the strings.

I did bleed, which they said was normal and they gave me a sanitary towel. Once I was done, the lovely nurse also asked me to wait in reception for 10 minutes (just in case).

Before you go, they tell you to take some pain medication, so I took two paracetamol. My lovely nurse, recommended I took something slightly stronger when I got home as one of the side effects is cramping.

However, I didn’t need to take anything. I didn’t even have another paracetamol. I definitely had period style cramps, but to be honest, I get quite bad back ache with my periods, so I feel like I have a good tolerance when it comes to them.

All in all, my experience was good and again, the most stressful part for me, was something you don’t even need to worry about.

Everyone is different, so I don’t want to shame anyone who said it was more painful than childbirth, but, for me, it was mostly just uncomfortable and the pain I experienced was just a couple of seconds.

Since having it, I’ve had some spotting and I would technically be on my period now, so, I’ve had some bleeding, but very minimal. The only side effect I noticed, which might not be linked, but made me Google - a dodgy couple of bowel movements.

I’d apologise for the TMI, but let’s be honest, that opening line was worse.

Currently, I’m really glad I did it. As my periods weren’t regular, it’s going to take me a while to maybe notice a change, but I’m hoping my friends will no longer have reason to call me Mount Gushmore.

Fingers crossed.

Any questions, leave a message below or send me an email if you would rather keep private - lauracapon@lauracapon.com

Not to slate the NHS, but it’s something