Is it wrong to be shocked by Lana Del Ray's new alligator tour guide boyfriend?
And what can it tell us about our own dating classism?
Look, the one thing I really want this Substack to be, is a place for open discussion and part of that requires us to reflect on our own moral compass.
I like to think I’m aware of my prejudices and correct them when I know they’re creeping in, but sometimes my shallowness gets the better of me, because when I saw Lana Del Rey’s new lover, my god, my classicism hit boiling point.
For those of you unfamiliar, Lana, the 39-year-old musician, with an estimated net worth of $30 million, has gone public with her new boyfriend, Jeremy Dufrene.
He’s not a tech or finance bro. Neither is he an athlete, actor or artist. No, he’s a 49-year-old alligator tour guide from Louisiana, who looks exactly how you’d imagine a 49-year-old alligator tour guide from Louisiana would look.
Normally, we all lap up love stories between people from different social classes.
Whether it’s the story of Cinderella or watching ‘civilians’ like Kate and Megan marry into royalty, but, those stories all involve a man falling for an incredibly beautiful woman.
Not a very rich and very famous woman falling in love with a man, who, arguably, doesn’t meet her beauty standard either.
It really is the plot of a rom-com, except, in the movie version, you know the alligator tour guide would be played by Chris Pratt *shudder*.
However, if Glen Powell was involved, that’s an immediate 5 star rating from me.
Truthfully, as I sat there on the train, zooming in on his leathered face, from years of working in the sun, I thought, there’s no way this would happen the other way round.
Without seeing him, you can romanticise their meet cute and the flirty banter they have, which 100% involves him calling her “City Girl” and her, “Gator Boy”.
But then the visual reality is so contrasting, it leaves you a little stunned.
Is it that I don’t think a man from a background like that should be with a woman like that… unless he can "make up for it” in the looks department?
Oof, that’s an uncomfortable thought.
However, it then got me thinking about all the men I swipe past on dating apps.
I’ll be honest, if there is a very conventionally attractive or wealthy man, I don’t ‘like’ him, because I know or should I say, assume, the attraction would not be reciprocated.
But, then, I’ll admit, it goes the other way. Where I debate if I really want to heart the guy that works in Sainsbury’s, despite him being kinda cute.
Before I start unpicking my own classism even more, there’s something else to consider with Lana and Jeremy, as eagle-eyed fans have reported he’s a Trump supporter, after apparently seeing his public social media posts.
This is the part of the love story, the films don’t show you. How different backgrounds and different classes, can result in opposing political views. Although, for what it’s worth, I don’t know where Lana’s own values lie.
Which, in turn, leads me into a separate thought I’ve been mulling over in recent days… Can you be friends with someone with opposing political views to you?
Maybe that’s enough thinking for one day…
I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not swiping on the cute rich boys. Sure some will be shallow snobs and only want to date skinny privately educated models. But I bet a lot are nice normal people, who recognise a true babe like you when they see one. But tbf I probably too would look at the boat shoes and the chinos and bright white teeth and run a mile.
The different political views thing, it honestly frustrated me when I was single and on the apps and used to see profiles stating "no tories" etc. I think life is made more beautiful from the differences between us, and we shouldn't just look for replicas of ourselves. We need those differences around us to grow. I think there are core values we can look for which span the divide - kind, funny, smart, thoughtful guys can vote for all sorts of parties. And the bigoted racist sexist xenophobic people let's be honest could vote left or right.
I'm getting married soon, to a privately educated guy who voted brexit. Which is so far from my background and political views. But he's the opposite of any stereotypes that might jump into your brain, he's liberal, he's a feminist and hates Boris Johnson. He didn't vote tory or ukip. He doesn't think foreigners are ruining the country. But if I'd have put 'no brexit voters ' on my bumble profile we'd have never met.
Also, weird but as I read that Lana's new man is a trump supporter, I immediately thought well sure. Apparently I'd assumed she was a Republican? Not sure why!
Oh my word, I’m obsessed with the comments by Bethany and Gill! Hard agree with Bethany on Lauren swiping the cute rich boys - you are such a babe!!!!! Also, if someone is cute, irrespective of their job, I say go for it too! You don’t know why they’re in that role - could be worth a shot!
Also, Gill saying about the gator tour guys being charmers 😂😂, I think there is something in this. It’s quite a ‘manly’ profession I guess - similar to men that work in trades. I listen to Miquita Olivia and Lily Allen’s podcast and Miquita always says she wishes there was a dating app where all the men were in some form of trades.
So happy that there is the space to discuss all this, whilst reflecting on our own views/ biases/ privilege etc.