7 chocolate biscuit bars that should have been discontinued instead of the Breakaway

I said, what I said

My mum was the first to break the news to me this morning. Flashing her phone at with, with an article from BBC News.

I appreciated the zero clickbait headline. There was no need for me to read beyond, “Nestlé axes classic Breakaway bar after 24 years”.

I barely had time to process the information, before she announced the death of another, the Yorkie biscuit bar.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no qualms with the demise of the latter. If you’ve ever come across a Yorkie Biscuit Bar, you’ll know they are pretty much devoid of any flavour.

But, the Breakaway?

Yes, it’s worse than a Blue Riband, but it’s an inoffensive lunchbox stalwart. Can’t we just leave it be?

For all intensive purposes, it’s a chocolate digestive and if it was a decision between a Breakaway and any of these other 7 bars, I’d pick the Breakaway every day.

So, without further ado. Here are the chocolate biscuit bars I would happily let take the Breakways place.

1. Wagon Wheels

I think Wagon Wheels are filth and you cannot change my mind on that. Their texture can only be described as stale and that sticky mallow inside… barf. Not to mention, they do not travel well and must be contained within a hard sided lunchbox to even withstand a day out.

2. Salted Caramel Club

You’ve probably never tasted a Salted Caramel Club and for that, you should thank your lucky stars. I have a postie box for my delivery drivers and one time I stole one of these from it. God, it was vile. I couldn’t even describe the taste to you and I wasn’t alone because my sister did the same thing and had to come clean to warn others who were thinking of pinching from our posties.

3. Cadbury Snack Shortcake

Let me preface this by saying that Cadbury Snacks used to be up there in the elite tier for me, but if you’ve had one in the last few years, you’ll know that somethings changed and it’s not for the better.

Whatever Mondelez aka Kraft have done to them, they should be ashamed because they taste nothing like Cadbury and they’ve gone from elite tier, to, I won’t even eat one. Seriously.

Either return them to their former glory or do the decent thing and let them slip away into the night.

Cadbury Snack Sandwiches on the other hand…. Now, they need to go mainstream. My sister travels to Dublin a lot for work and discovered them. Now she brings them back for us because they are near impossible to find here.

4. Kinder Happy Hippo

Never once have I been tempted to buy one of the Happy Hippo bars and I love me some Kinder. They just look so dry, I don’t think anyone would ever miss them. But I do think there will be an elderly couple somewhere who will miss their Breakway.

5. Nutella B-ready Bars

Speaking of dry, these things are like sawdust. Guaranteed throat chokers. Avoid at all costs.

6. Jaffa Cake Jonuts

Don’t get me wrong, I love a Jaffa Cake. In fact, I’d quite like one right now. But these Jonuts are a symbol of our modern day overconsumption and actually taste worse than the original.

It’s also the only one I can’t find an image of with a transparent background… curses.

7. Gold Bar

This could be a controversial one, but if we were prepared to let the Caramac go, I think we should be prepared to say bye bye to the bar that will forever make me think of my Nanny and Grandad’s neighbour, Molly.

In her late teens my mum moved in with Molly because my Grandad got a job in Malvern and my mum had just met my Dad and didn’t want to go. Molly was the kindest lady that ever lived, but she really was from another era.

When we would go and visit her, she would always offer us a Gold Bar, my sister loved them and I always wished Molly had a second option, but she never did.

On second thoughts, maybe, we should keep the Gold Bars in Molly’s honour after all.