Can New York's 9/11 double rainbow really mean something?

I'm not one for angel numbers but this does feel like more than coincidental symbolism

Recently, I’ve been concerned that I’m too negative. It started after a friend told me that their friend mentioned I seemed “angry” on my Instagram story posts.

Since then, I have found myself questioning what I share online and when I come to write this Substack every night, I’m hyper aware that my ideas are often ones that involve criticising something or someone.

The thing is though, as a person who has to be chronically online for their job, I do feel quite jaded at the minute. Recently, it’s been the state of beauty journalism where the only articles that get commissioned seem to be shopping ones designed to earn the publishers extra income or news stories on TikTok trends to make it seem like we’re the ones still dictating what’s in fashion.

The influencing side isn’t much better, with overly emotional posts designed to drum up engagement and every AD deal going to the same 10 creators who won’t declare it properly.

So, yeah, call me jaded, but, yesterday, there was one story that at first I instantly dismissed as fake news, until it was verified by various outlets.

Monday marked the 22nd anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York. 22 years ago I was mid-Clarinet lesson when my teacher, Michelle told me a plane had crashed into the Pentagon.

I was 14 and had no idea what the Pentagon was or the gravity of the event that had taken place. But, having grown up in a post 9/11 world and having since visited New York more times than I can count, the magnitude and sadness is no longer lost on me.

So, as I was scrolling through TikTok last night and saw a video of the most beautiful double rainbow across the skyline of New York City on such a poignant date, I didn’t believe it was real.

Tapping ‘New York rainbow’ into my search bar proved me wrong (along with the various news articles I Googled). From then on I was utterly transfixed by these multicoloured arches.

I wanted to see them from different angles and different perspectives. I told myself it was purely a coincidence but my mind wrestled with the symbolism of 2 rainbows for 2 towers on the 22nd anniversary.

@megkwalla real thing i just saw with my eyes. shot on my iphone. new york city. september 11,2023 🤯 #rainbow #nyc #sept11 #skyline #doublerainbow #mothernature #911 #nycrainbow #miracle

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I saw some people comment it was God’s work. I don’t believe it was, but as my internal debate continues into today, I can’t help but feel it was more something than it was nothing. I’m not a religious person but those damn double rainbows just keep playing on my mind.

Is it weird to say I feel like they’ve given me some form of comfort? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not off to join Hillsong and re-follow Chris Pratt on IG, but maybe I don’t have to be so pessimistic about the world around me all the time.

Later in the day I was looking through some photos on my phone and came across one of my Nan who passed away just a few months ago at the grand age of 98.

I couldn’t look at her for too long because the more I did the more real she became. I could remember how her fingers felt, how she’d fold up a piece of kitchen roll and place it up her sleeve. The sound she made which sounded like the name ‘Usher’ but with more of a black country twang.

How can a person who was always there now never be? Why can’t I visit her in her red leather armchair with a tea and an M&S Dutch Shortcake biscuit again?

I’ve heard other people talk about the signs they see that let them know their loved ones are still with them, even when they’re not. I’ve even felt quite jealous that they can believe a magpie/feather/orb is a divine sign solely for them.

Did my Grandads, Nan and Uncle not mean enough to me? Why can my mind not provide me the same comfort? And why do I feel like no one around me would let me either?

But, those double rainbows. We all saw them. It’s not a leaf on a pavement that I’ve claimed as symbolic to me. Is it still just coincidental symbolism if everyone observed it?

Next week may be different, but right not I’m choosing to believe in those curved, coloured lines.