Can I like Michael Barrymore's TikToks or is that problematic?
The question that's been on my mind the last week...
Usually, I like to think of myself as someone who is on the right side of justice. I don’t listen to Chris Brown, I threw my Jeffree Star eyeshadow palettes in the bin and I very rarely listen to Michael Jackson… except when I’m feeling especially weak for the Free Willy soundtrack.
But, can I be allowed Michael Barrymore’s TikToks?
I don’t remember when I was first served one of his videos. I know I tried to fight against it. I’d watch, but wouldn’t engage.
To be honest, I couldn’t remember what Michael Barrymore had actually done, I just knew that I shouldn’t be seen hitting that red heart icon.
Then, Michael Barrymore did something unexpected, he started making slime and before I knew it, I was all in.
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“Fuck it,” I told myself, as I hit the follow button and began liking everything from his Stussy fit checks to his attempt at making bath bombs and his exploding snackle boxes.
That little angel on my shoulder kept nudging me though and I found myself Googling, ‘What did Michael Barrymore do?’
As soon as it came up, I remembered. The ‘guy’ in the pool.
I was 14 when Stuart Lubbock was found dead in Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool, following a party. Those were the days when The News of The World was still published, along with page 3.
When we talk about outdated attitudes and beliefs, we usually refer to our Grandparents’ era or our parents. But, let’s not pretend that homophobia wasn’t rife in the ‘90s and ‘00s.
As an adult, I’ve often wondered what it must have been like for my LGBTQ+ peers, growing up in a comprehensive school, where we all used the term ‘gay’ as an insult.
Of course, Stuart Lubbock was just some ‘guy’ in a pool. Oh, he died at a ‘gay party’?Won’t ask anymore questions then.
I didn’t even know, till I looked it up this past weekend, that Stuart’s injuries showed that he was raped. This poor man, was murdered and our collective homophobia at the time, allowed him to be a punchline.
No one at the party claimed to know what happened to him and Stuart’s father campaigned for justice for his son, until his own death in 2021.
Michael has always claimed he was innocent and the case remains unsolved. Despite a 50-year-old man (not Barrymore) being arrested in 2021 for indecent assault and murder.
He was released without charge.
Now, when I write all that down, I feel absolutely mortified that I’m trying to condone my enjoyment of Michael Barrymore making slime on TikTok.
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But, that’s the thing. We’re all made of shades of grey. Life is rarely black or white and yes, he could be guilty, but he also could be innocent.
Should he forever be in purgatory?
Not that it matters, but after reading, I do believe he’s innocent, but I also think the fact he fled the scene, kind of sealed his fate. In my made up version, he clearly panicked about all the drugs in his house and did a runner with them before the police came.
But, everyone, of course, is going to come up with their own fictional version of events, because, it doesn’t look like we’ll ever know what happened to Stuart.
Honestly, I wish I’d never looked it up. It’s true what they say, ignorance is bliss. But, I’m gonna be real with you, I think I’m going to keep on watching and just panic that I’m a terrible person. FFS, if only I didn’t get the biggest sense of joy watching his videos.
Who knew a 71-year-old could nail TikTok so well?
I also need to confess that Michael has since followed me back, which of course further complicates matters and we can blame Lucy P for that one.
I await your judgement…
You’ve already said that you regret googling, so this may not be helpful, but Naomi Channell’s podcast, “His Name Was Stuart Lubbock”, is an excellent, ethical true crime series about what happened in my opinion - in case you do need another resource.
Can you separate the harmful actions from the art is the question? I sway towards no but I’ve heard that R Kelly’s royalties now go the survivors and that just makes it more complicated if true! Shades of grey indeed!